Be sure to read to the end on this one.
It's spring here in the Midwest. Sunshine, warm temps, birds chirping, flowers blooming...you know the drill.
And it had better continue with the good stuff, because I am simply cold weather and snow-ed out.
And it is time to be reminded of that other rite of the season, love. It's a good thing, right? I think it is and enjoy all kinds of love in my life. I love the fuzzy little baby chicks and ducks found at the feedstore each spring. Grandkids and kids in general make me feel the love. I know that technically people would argue it is more of a like, but I am certain that crunchy Cheetos and the now defunct Hostess Ho Ho's can trigger the firing in my brain that signals the pleasure associated with true love too.
Love is a great, great thing. It's fun. It also can hurt, if not done correctly...but we'll skip that part today.
But let's talk about good old romantic love. It's a subject I read a lot about it as an intern editor and as a member of critique groups. People say it is everywhere.
Do you ever think about how obnoxious you were when you had your first love? Those euphoric and smug, "Someone thinks I am the best thing since sliced bread" looks you shared with the world. All you have to do to remember is see a couple newly in love with all of their clingy touches and hear their "I love you, Babe-No, I love you, Babe" comments to realize that yes, you DID act and look just as goofy back in the day.
But it was great, wasn't it?
I had the early days of this goofiness in my teens and then later in my thirties. I have to admit I was just as guilty of that obnoxious smugness after becoming a staid old mother and experienced teacher as I was in high school. Oh, and love affects even older people the same way. Anyone have the grandma or grandpa who suddenly gets their second or third or fourth or more wind from a new relationship that actually makes them giggle without concern that their teeth will fall out? It happens. Love gets us this way no matter when it happens.
This week I had a couple of things happen that reminded me of love and how it makes me feel. My husband and I got married in middle age after we both had been married to others before. There was some, okay a lot, of the initial giddiness goofiness of love when we were dating and mostly in the beginning of our marriage. Fewer hickeys than the first time around, since I had matured some. But let's be honest, the giddy love fades over the years. Side note: If he doesn't take the trash out on time next week, it is going to fade a great deal more.
But there is compensation for some of what you lose at the beginning a relationship as you transition into a more stable one. There's that security of knowing you can count on someone to be there for you and have your back.
Here's some examples of how my husband reminded me of his love this week.
First instance: My mother injured her neck and called me early the other morning and asked me to take her to the emergency room and I did. Side note: She is doing okay now, since I know I will get messages, emails, and phone calls if I don't mention this. My husband was still asleep...the man sleeps and snores with the intensity of a hibernating bear, so he did not know I was gone. I call him a short time later from the ER and wake him out of a dead sleep with this conversation.
"I am at the ER with Mom. I need you to go to her house and tell me the dosages on her medications." I then remind him how to get into the locked house and where the medications will be found.
"Okay, I'll call you from there."
That was the whole conversation. I didn't tell him why my mother was at the hospital or how we got there or even have to justify him getting up and dressed so early and I didn't say, "would you please?" I knew he would do what I needed simply because he loves me and I said I needed it done.
Instance #2 of my husband's show of love is a little out there. Don't worry I'm not about to share any details that will make throw your hands up at just the thought, screaming, "My eyes! My eyes!". At best you will be scratching your head, thinking, "I knew those two were weird, but this takes the cake...or skull".
So, I am passing through the living room where my husband is lounging on the couch in his usual t-shirt and shorts evening ensemble. The t.v. show Bones is starting and I am not staying as I am not a fan. On the screen a man and a woman seemed to be searching through a field, no...not a field but it's similar... of mushrooms. Here's our conversation...
Me: "Are those mushrooms?" My derision for the show is apparent.
Hubby: "Yes. It's some kind of game and you know they're about to dig up a skull."
Okay, I didn't know that because I don't like this show where these things apparently happen regularly. Oh, and because the whole premise was stupid.
And then, the guy digs up...a skull! OMG, my husband is a psychic genius!
Next on the television the guy is so shocked he throws the skull at the woman standing next to him. I prepare to walk out of the room, because again, this show is still stupid. My husband stops me in my tracks with his next statement.
Hubby: "I would never do that to you." Cue the sincerity in voice at his sacred vow.
Me: "What?"
Hubby: "Throw a skull at you. If I found one, I would never pick it up and throw at you."
I don't normally cuss in my public posts, but I think we can all agree this situation calls for a "What the hell is he talking about?"
I know, I know you're all thinking what kind of person thinks like this. I did too and I know the man well. Still I have puzzled and laughed about his response for a week now.
The puzzling, because it just seems a little out there for anyone.
The laughter, because my husband is more of flight and come back in with a strategy kind of guy in the whole "Fight or Flight" question. I can't imagine him even being in the area a second after finding a skull while rooting for mushrooms or anything else.
Side note: FYI-In case of the need to attack invading forces or an army or zombies, I fall in to "Fight" category of responses. My husband's style and my own complement each other. I go in for the surprise attack on the front line and he follows with weapons.
Now let's go back to the whole, "Won't toss a skull at you" thing. I can't explain why my husband shared this particular tidbit to exemplify his love for me. His reasons and the world inside his head are too complex for the likes of the usual human. But like the earlier example of my mother's meds when he didn't even question what I said I needed, sometimes you just need to accept the love in whatever form it presents itself. So I am.
Ain't love grand?
Feel free to leave a comment and tell me how your beloved shows their uniqueness with their love for you.
The author of Divergent.
Or Cynthia Hand, author of the Unearthly series.
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