Almost, but not quite

This post is out of order.  Should be for Nov. 29, 2011.
So I have finished my novel but not my Nanowrimo word count. I have until tomorrow at 11:59. I have been cheating a little at Nanowrimo anyways. I think all 50,000 are supposed to be from my novel. But they aren’t. (My HeRA wordcount is from my novel.) There are two reasons why not all of my words for Nanowrimo aren’t just the novel. One: My Nanowrimo work is a rough draft and I have discovered that probably due to my history of writing, performing, and directing plays, that my first drafts look more like screenplays. (Maybe I need enter the Script Writing Frenzy in the Spring too…Nope trying to do that and keep up with school activities in the Spring would do me in!) Second: I have found a do a LOT of writing that isn’t part of my novel in a month. This probably explains why I have so much trouble writing a novel in the first place, but I decided maybe it was worth including in my Nano count, so I have. This year I included an original Readers Theater I wrote about Veterans and my students performed for them. I also included some of my blog entries too. I haven’t included the ones I wrote for our family blog and I haven’t included emails either. I could have reached 50,000 words a whole lot faster if I included emails for sure. And even faster if I counted my Facebook and Twitter words.
One thing that put me behind for Nano was I got sick with a bad cold in the middle. Of course it had to be right when my students were practicing the Readers Theater, but it meant that after I dragged myself home to and from work, I was simply too exhausted to write…or breath much either. And then I found myself desperately behind and I really wanted to give up. Again.
Giving up is something I have found myself doing a lot as a writer. It is ironic that all my life I have been told I have talent as a writer and the task of becoming a writer is taking years. Years. In all the time I have been truly trying to become a writer I have only written what I would call two completed novels and I finished one of those today. Neither is edited and polished enough to send out yet. That is my next goal, mind you. But I very nearly gave up on the novel I finished today. I wanted to. I wanted to let myself accept that I was going to fail to meet another deadline I had set for myself in my writing career.
Now my time trying to become a writer hasn’t been all wasted. I joined a great writing group. I learned to talk the talk even if I wasn’t always walking the walk. I’ve met many of my literary heroes. I have learned a lot about writing. And I have managed to teach some people about writing to.
And I have written. I started a fabulous murder mystery and if I ever get it done I know exactly what I want the cover to look like. I even know what my celebratory tattoo will look like when I make the New York Time’s BestSeller List. Please note, as yet I have no tattoos, but if I ever did make that list I would have tattoos. And I have such a large canvas I could put some great tattoos on it. Although, if I become well known enough to be on such lists, I will have enough money to drastically reduce this canvas…Hmmm. Oh, and then I wrote my first book. And I really like it. I think it might even sell if I can commit to making a final product. And I wrote some other things too over the years…Some programs for school, some obituaries, some funeral poems, and some decent year end Christmas letters too.
I also took on some leadership roles for my writing group and judged a number of contests.
But I haven’t taken the time I need to do what I do best. Create and revise and refine.
Other people come to me for help with all of these things and I do it for them. But I don’t do them for me.
And I need to. So I am. I started the day earlier this month when I decided that come hell or high water or family or school or sickness I was going to finish my 50000 words in 30 days.
47, 525…Onward.
Nanowrimo has made some things suffer around here. The good news for me at school is that I am caught up. I have my grades current and I know the next couple of week’s lesson plans. I even have a pretty good idea of what’s coming up on both the school and home calendars for December and I am looking forward to the events.
But I am making myself a list of all of the things I need to take care of soon.
First of all I am going to talk to my husband instead of saying however sweetly… I have to write. I don’t have time to talk to you right now.
Then I will complete the following in a random order.
Stop wearing my headphones everywhere I go including when I am alone in the house. I usually don’t have them on anyways. I just wear them to make people think I am not listening.
I’m going to watch the five Ellen shows I have DVR’ed and the Chopped Superstars Show from Sunday. I am not certain that is even the correct name, but I don’t have time to find the remote to check.
I am going to stop carrying all of our phones around with me when I move locations or computers. I haven’t wanted to take the time to get up.
I might actually cook something that isn’t microwaved or a Thanksgiving leftover.
I will visit the grocery store and purchase food to be eaten in our home.
I will buy the cat some cat food. We just ran out today and it will get ugly oh so very quickly.
I will purchase the Little Debbies I provide to my advisory students.
I am going to put air in the front tire of my van. I could have done it at anytime if I just turned on the compressor in the garage.
I am going to try to actually listen more to the grandchildren when they make their short visits. Sometimes grandma is thinking about people kissing or going to high school and only pretending to watch Kick Buttowski.
I am going to go outside and remove the pumpkins and gourds that make up our festive decorations.
I am going to wash my huge red sweatshirt material robe again. It’s been seeing a lot of action this past month.
I am going to figure out a way to get better insulation in my office. See clothing choice above.
I am going to take an inventory of what food is left in the cabinet and refrigerator. I may even check the expiration dates. I know some has to have been purchased in October!
I am going to discuss the Christmas wish list with husband, mother, children, and grandchildren. The cat gets nothing. He has been a little naughty.
I will pick up the new Janet Evanovich book that has been setting untouched on living room table for two whole days now.
I am going to put away the thirty scarves I have worn this past month for my own Nanoscarfowrimo. It began because of my belief that many people who think they are writers wear scarves. I wore one scarf a day in November to remind people to be writers. I wore a different one every day and took photos of the day’s scarf. Check out previous blog posts. I even wore them when I wore my pajamas all day because I was sick.
It became a thing with my students to see which scarf I would wear next. One student even strongly voiced which of my scarves she would like if I was to suddenly pass away to that big school in the sky. My students started wearing scarves too.
And I am going to celebrate my success with introducing the school-wide Youth Nanowrimo Program. All of my 100 plus eighth graders participated. And Monday through Thursday of all of the weeks but one sixth, seventh, and eighth graders came to write. Some wrote just a few hundred and some wrote around 15, 000 but they came of their own free will and wrote. And wrote some more. Maybe it didn’t hurt that there were snacks and prizes, but there most definitely writing too. I haven’t seen all of their work yet, but what I have seen shows me that their writings are just as unique as they are. And I am proud of them.
And I will rejoice that I stuck with it this time. That I didn’t just give up. That I can wear the shirt I ordered online announcing I am a Nanowrimo winner with PRIDE. Because I earned it the hard way. Good BIC club all the way.
For those who maybe confused that “BIC” is something elicit and dirty. It means “Butt in Chair” as in real writers are good because they put their butts in their chairs and they do the work.
May you find your own BIC moments in your life and keep multiplying them until you get it right. Trust me, you’ll know when it happens!

Ask and you MIGHT receive.

I write fan letters to people and companies I like.  I also write mean ones when people make me angry too.  But this post is about the nice letters.  I wrote the Queen when I visited England that I was available for tea.  I got a lovely NO back on Buckingham stationery.  I write to my favorite authors all the time and often receive replies.

This is my letter to the customer service department of one of the great loves of my life.  The Ticonderoga Pencil.  It is not my first letter to them.

Dear Ticonderoga Pencil Manufacturers,

I love your product.  No really, I love your product.

Not in a bizarre I want to date them or I am currently hoarding them in a bunker somewhere in a remote location, but in the "This is a FABULOUS pencil!" scream it from the school tops kind of pencil love. I have traveled across Missouri to get picture with your business sign.  

I know pencils.  They are the item most often stolen in the schools today.  This is why my Ticonderogas were always locked up tighter than my purse.

I recently retired as an English teacher and I was saddened to realize I can no longer stand up the first day of class and introduce my to students to great product that is the Dixon Ticonderoga Pencil. For many years I have explained the joys of a lead that does not break, the firm, mostly unbreakable wooden shaft (Okay, I never used the word shaft when teaching 8th graders and tried not to refer to wood either), with an eraser that stays in the pencil top when you use it AND actually erases without smudges or tears.

I love these pencils so much that students have bought the various varieties for me all over the country and I did receive numerous boxes for my retirement.  None of them knew of my secret stash already carefully hidden away.

I prefer the traditional yellow and green version, but often use the black when I want to be a little more cutting edge.  I have the metallics, the breast cancer survivor ones, and extra big versions. And I will keep looking for the next variations too!

Long live the Ticonderoga!

Goldie Edwards

#Number 2 Fan (I am really number one, but two seemed more fitting.)

I don't know if I am ready to let my Ticonderoga love just fade away.  If you need someone to write for your blogs, do appearances across the nation, or star in national commercials I am available. 

Editing-Packing in what is important!

Happy 100 degree plus June to you!  As the day gets brighter and flowers and people begin to wilt, I intend to do my best to hide inside and continue to edit my book, Mirror Images. To me, editing is serious and of utmost importance.  I have been guilty recently of whining and complaining about the difficulty.

Over the last few days I have come to realize there are more important things.

One serious disadvantage of so many warm days and dry parched ground in Colorado has been the horrible fires near Colorado Springs.  Myself and many of my fellow Missourians have driven across the abyss that is Kansas (Sorry, so not a fan of the I-70 drive.) to visit the very tourist places and towns now being burned.  It is frightening to think of the tens of thousands of people who are being temporarily or permanently displaced by something they cannot control.  My son in the Army is on the "safe" side of town, but has been working to help the people who have been evacuated.  He, like many other people of the city, is very busy these days.

I am glad that many people who have been evacuated had some notice to be able to remove some items from their houses.  But when I think how hard that really would be, it dismays me.  Would you try to keep the practical items or focus more on treasured things?  Would you know what was really important if you had to hurry?  I am not certain I would even know where I kept everything I would find important without some looking around.  How would you prioritize?  How would you be able to edit your whole life?

Today I am editing.  To me, my book is like a home I love.  And I am making the decisions of what practical things to keep, what lines and passages are my treasures, and I do have to sometimes search around to find and determine what is important to me to keep.

But it is just a book.  And that is a statement I won't always make.  I get to choose when and what to edit from my book.  If I am smart and save my drafts I can go back and get something if I decide it is actually important after all.  The fire victims don't have that option.  If my book were to disappear I would be upset and angry and sad.  But then I would do what so many people in Colorado and other places are going to have to do, grieve and start over.

Editing is simply a process I control.  There truly are more important worries in the world.

This little piggie built...

Writing retreats.  Like the three little pigs, what does yours look like?  Straw, sticks, bricks, or Starbucks?

Here are some famous ones! http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2012/06/11/famous-writers-retreats

Some might be surprised by the shacks and the hotel, but I totally get it now that I am writing more often and with more direction. The need to immerse yourself in your writing without interruptions seems to be overwhelming.  I understand Thoreau and his little hut now much more than I did when it was required reading in my upper high school and beginning college classes.  The last few years I have been paying attention to the people who are writers and their stories of where they do it.  So many seem to manage writing with kids and spouses and animals running in and out.   They manage day to day happenings and unplanned surprises and still manage to write. 

But I also understand why a husband and wife who are both authors like Jim and Shannon Butcher have separate writing areas on different floors.  I see why writer Denise Grover Swank swears by headphones to write while at home with her children.  I understand the numerous people who frequent coffee shops and libraries hovering over notebooks and computers.   I also understand why Stephen King changed his lonely office to more of family friendly room.  With all he writes and the complex world he writes of, I think he really might disappear for long periods of time.

I have heard over and over that if you truly want to write, you can write anywhere.  And I have seen some of this.  I often am somewhere and suddenly feel the need to put down an idea or dialogue and carry a notebook in my purse for this purpose.  I am always brainstorming when I am cleaning house.  Makes it so much more pleasant.  But I may be one of the people who does better with a space to write.  It might be because of all the planning I would do at my teacher's desk.  I think I need some type of physical boundary that says, "This is work.  Get to it."

Right now I rotate between the living room which has the best chair and the office/grandchildren's stay over area/second tv room, and sometimes the kitchen table if I really want to spread something out.  And I wear headphones.  Sometimes I don't have them on, but I have gotten so used to having them on to write, it is like a signal to my brain to produce.  It also makes my husband not talk to me, because he thinks I cannot hear him.  Wrong.

But I want a small, tastefully decorated office with a picture window either looking out on some beautiful nature or a beautiful shirtless firm masculine neighbor.  (I once ran into my own mailbox with my car mirror trying to see if my cute neighbor got a haircut.  He had.)  A cushy chair for my long desk, a recliner when I want to type with my feet up, a coaster for my tea, and a place for all of the stuff a writer generally needs.  It is a dream.

Or I might just go out on the back patio and watch all the cars go by while I write.  There is no straw, probably could find some sticks, and all the bricks will be on my iPod, while I sing along to, "She's a brick hoooooooooouuuuuuuuuse.  OW, She's mighty, mighty, just lettin' it all hang out!

 

Pseudo Writer No More- Or up, up, and away. Again.

My confession is that I have been a pseudo writer until now. I have played at it successfully. I have actually accomplished a few things of merit, but it has not been my career. And I blame having been a teacher. I have focused on giving my best to teaching. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely LOVED teaching. My students rank right under my close family and friends in the loves of my life and frankly, I have spent more time with student than anyone else in my life. It is hard to think that I am not officially a teacher any longer. As one of my friends put it, "Being a teacher has been your identity." And my teacher friends will appreciate this idea. Being a teacher is a way of life and not just a job. And I had worked hard enough that I pretty much had it mastered. Now, although I have been learning craft and business and making writing connections, I am back at the beginning of a career. A demanding career at that. And just like teaching, my success is going to depend on my abilities and willingness to work hard and learn as I go. I can't decide if that is easier or harder at 48. When I was a new teacher I was too young to realize when I wanted to do something that wouldn't work or to go where it wasn't socially appropriate to accomplish what I needed to do. Now that I am older and wiser I worry that worry will prevent me from taking the necessary dive off the cliff with just the belief that all will turn out right. As I read over my previous posts I see a lot of starts and re-starts and I think that is okay. I don't know that a taking flight analogy is often thought of in context to me, but I think it is appropriate for starting something new in your life. You kind of stick your neck out a little, try a few running starts at your goal, some of them false, and often get your feelings hurt too. But each attempt or little hop is hopefully one in the right direction. I think I have what it takes to be successful. I have been paying attention, growing in some literary feathers, and building up my courage. It is time to embrace my new identity as a writer and commit to doing the hard work needed to take off toward the edge of the cliff and hopefully soar. Or at least bounce high enough off of the bottom to try again. And feel free to comment or follow my blog. I would appreciate it.

Momma's Got a Gun...and tear gas too. Temporarily

This post will be a little different than my usual and feel free not to read it if the topic is not your thing. However, I hope you learn something. I did. I hope I don't get flagged for this post!

If I made mistakes, I will try to fix them. Be patient.

If you know me, you know I am not much of a gun toting person. I have been surrounded by them for years-guns and gun-toters too, but weapons are just not my thing. I don't watch shoot 'em up movies and I sometimes make fun of "macho" guys. But I got the opportunity to meet some real gun-toting guys this weekend and they truly impressed me with their knowledge and skills. I would want them on my side if I ever needed them.



My writing group Heartland Romance Authors spent over three hours with two member of the Blue Springs Police Depart Special Tactical Assistance Team or their version of a SWAT team. Basically they go in and get the people nobody else wants to go after or they are a quick response for people who really need help quickly. They are a part-time team and have other police or detective jobs too.

We learned about the communication systems for their own agency, local KC agencies, Missouri, and the Nation, as well as, a privately owned system detectives use. They then shared information about the training they receive and certifications necessary. These include quarterly training on five different weapons systems, hostage rescue, armed barricade, active shooters, suicidal subjects, and dignity protection. Blue Springs is one of the first responders for the Lake City Munitions Plant and they must train for that area too. Most recently they have added and trained medics who now go into crime areas with them. This procedure change was brought about by the nation's responders studying the shootings at Columbine.

We learned a Vanilla Barricade is someone who is alone without hostages or bystanders with them. Chatter refers to communication that can indicate an increased national threat depending on the amount. Fatal funnels are doorways. I even know what a picatinny rail is for now. Knock warrants mean they must first announce themselves and No Knock Warrants mean the people the are going after must be taken into custody quickly because of their danger potential. These No Knock Warrants are rare. We learned police cannot talk to each other to debrief immediately after a shooting because they may be called to testify. They sometimes find out that things were actually different from their own perspective later when the information can be shared.


Their gear includes a Kevlar helmet and a tactical vest with pockets and ceramic or composite shields within. The vest holds cuffs, shotgun rounds, rope to tie off doors and other things, wooden wedges to hold open or closed doors, slugs and extra magazines, and an attached weapon sling. They use a drop leg holster usually with a 9mm with an attached light on it. They also have a gas mask with interchangeable filters. And some versions of no fire tear gas.

They were quite knowledgeable on the varieties of things they use besides actual guns. We saw a well-used battering ram that is operated by one individual alone. We learned about and witnessed them dumping a Flash Bang Canister that is deployed as a diversionary tactic with bright light and a loud boom after the pin has been pulled and spoon released. We saw Smoke canisters that allow officers to move without being seen, traditional tear gas (which is actually not gas, but particles), the bean bags that look like little squids, some pellets that looked like they would be painful, and a couple types of bean bag rounds. TKO rounds will take out the hinges or lock on a door but not penetrate through the door protecting those who need it on the other side. Training exercises now use air soft weapons for some of their training. I now understand why it is so hard to differentiate between a 9mm weapon and a toy gun.

The actual guns used by the team include their 9mm handguns, a Heckler Koch MP-Sub Machine Gun, an HK 416 225, which is an expensive gun, but runs cooler than most of the their others, with an eotech holigraphic site, and a shotgun M1 Super 90 Semi-Automatic by Benelli. This gun can shoot so fast that if you can pull the trigger fast enough, you can shoot five times before the first round has time to drop. It runs hot in more way than one. All of these guns have a light attached.

The sniper rifle was a Remington 700 PSS, single click, with a polished trigger mechanism. It has a concave muzzle, a fluted barrel which is floated off the rest of the gun and held by the receiver to allow for the gun to have the least amount of change in the barrel due to temperature changes. Snipers work in teams with one person spotting and the other prepared to shoot.

We were also allowed to go into their vehicle they used to go to crime areas and learned that stacking truck meant having each person sit in the order of their position into the situation. They also shared the saying, "The first casualty in is always the plan." I am still happy though they get out of their van with one in place even they have to adapt it quickly.

I am glad I got this opportunity to see how competent, knowledgeable, and well-trained these law enforcement professionals were. Many people are quick to point out if mistakes are made, but I came to realize last Saturday just what is involved in being a member of a tactical team. Again, I want people like this who are willing and able to take the needed risks to help people who need it. I am glad they are willing to be our shield.

Naked, Indoors, Outdoors, In Bed, Out...It's all GOOD!

What I like best about the career of being a professional writer or an almost one is that you can write anywhere in any state of dress or undress. All of the options listed in the title of this blog entry are possible if you wish.

People don't often ask me why I want to write. I am complimented by the many people who don't seem surprised when I tell them I am working on having writing become a full time career. It is encouraging that nobody shrieks, "You!" Most seem think it is a good idea and then get excited for me. So I have studied what makes a great writer. And there are many important craft and business aspects to know about.

I love the many aspects of being a writer. My favorite is the actual writing portion of the career where the ideas are coming so fast your fingers fly on the keyboard and you have to stop and make yourself notes for something you want to add, but don't have time to address right then. I cannot tell you how many times I stop what I am doing in public and in class to jot down notes, because someone said something I want to use. I must not concentrate on cleaning and cooking too much either, because I often have to leave those activities too to run in and write down ideas.

But after twenty-six years of having dress up and be at work at a certain time, having some control when I write is one of my favorite things about the job. In a few minutes I am going outside to sit on my porch and listen to the birds and the neighbor's lawn mower (and hide from the huge squirrels) and edit my book. The ability to just sit anywhere and work dressed as I like is just awesome. I always joke that my goal is to be able to work in my pajamas all day. Wait, that is true and not a joke or an April Fool's prank.

FYI- If you happen to drive by, I thought you would want to know I won't be taking advantage of the naked writing option at this time.